The Secrets Within
by DeflatedRaccoon
Summary: I'm bad at summaries but here goes! This is an ongoing story about a girl who meets Sam and Dean but has no memory of her past. She ends up becoming the little sister they never wanted. When she finally meets their angel, Castiel, she is smitten and love ensues. Castiel x reader fic. Not for a couple chapters!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey! This is my first fanfic in years! And my first time writing a supernatural one so please be kind but feed back is always appreciated! This is chapter 1 and if people want more than I'll definitely make more! I'm so excited! I hope you enjoy!

Cas x reader (eventually)

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CHAPTER 1

You couldn't remember anything. Well that's not true you knew your name was (y/n); unfortunately that's where your memory lapsed. You had so many questions flooding your mind all at once:

-Where were you?

-Why were you there?

-Why the hell did your body hurt so much?

And most importantly:

-Why couldn't you remember a damn thing?!

When your senses finally started to catch up to your racing thoughts, you noticed you were laying in some dirt with a wooded area on your right and open space to your left. You mustered up the courage to slowly get up, despite the pain shooting through your body. Once on your feet you registered your surroundings, realizing you were actually by a road... In the middle of no where. Now that you knew you were fucked in the location department you decided to examine the damage done to yourself and the source of your pain.

You were wearing a very torn and ragged little black dress which on its best day wouldn't cover much. There were slices all over your torso and well everywhere else to be honest. The worse injury that you could see was a deep gash your right side. That was definitely going to require stitches. The last place your (e/c) eyes landed was your feet.

"Oh this is just flippin' fantastic, I don't know where I am, why I look like I just survived a knife fight, and is there a reason I'm dressed like a prostitute," you muttered out loud, "Also where the hell are my shoes!"

Staying where you were wasn't doing any good, so you figured limping to the nearest town would be best. Your adrenaline was numbing you enough that you figured you'd be able to make it. Maybe someone knew something about you that wasn't just your name. You started down the long road looking like you were doing one hell of a walk of shame, when suddenly you heard the roar of an engine.

You prayed to the gods that whoever was coming wasn't going make your day even worse. A 67 Chevy Impala came to a halt when the driver saw you.

'Please don't be a creep! Please don't be a creep!'

The Lord definitely heard your prayers because from the drivers side out stepped Mr. tall, dark, and handsome. Your luck continued when Mr. taller, dark, and handsome climbed out the passenger side. You knew you must have looked like shit when you saw the expressions on their faces; it almost made you want to laugh.

"Hey, you alright?" The taller one asked.

"Oh ya just peachy," you retort grabbing the gash on your side. You could feel your adrenaline from earlier running low. Everything was suddenly a little fuzzy and a lot more painful.

"I'm Dean and this is Sam, my brother," the one with the gruff voice (apparently Dean) said as he pointed towards the moose sized one (apparently Sam). "What's your name?"

"It's uh... (y/n)."

"Listen we just want to help you. You're badly injured. What happened?" Sam questioned.

"Honestly, I don't remember. I-I woke up on the side of the road and all I could remember was my name... Everything else is just blank." As you said this it started to sink in that your memory was gone and you had no idea what to do.

It was Dean's turn to talk, "Well (y/n), you're in luck. We just so happen to specialize in weird. If you come with us we might be able to help you."

You quickly weighed the pros and cons of going with two strange men who 'specialize in weird' when you're suffering from amnesia and are seriously wounded. As the seconds passed you could feel the weight of it all baring down on you. You knew you were in no shape to say no to any help you could get (especially from two gorgeous men).

"I'll come."

'How could this possibly get any weirder anyway; so what the hell!' You thought to yourself as they helped you into the back seat.

You had no idea how wrong you were, because little did you know that you just met the Winchesters, and as we all know from here on out its a downward spiral of weird.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Finally got some Castiel up in this bitch! I swear that there will be a lot of Castiel x Reader to come! Just bear with me through the introduction period! Anyway hope you enjoy! Please review and follow!

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 **Chapter 2**

It had now been a little over six months since the day you were picked up by the Winchesters. They told you all about the supernatural world and taught you how to survive in it. You had been staying at the bunker ever since and loved it. You already felt like part of the 'gang'. Even though you mostly just did research for their cases you still enjoyed it; the whole supernatural world peaked your interest. What could you enjoy more than spending a day reading up on mystical creatures?!

Well there was one thing that you enjoyed more. It wasn't often but every once in awhile when they caught the scent of a cut and dry case they brought you along. They taught you how to fight, shoot, and run like hell if need be. To their surprise you were actually catching on really fast. "(y/n), you sure you weren't a hunter before you lost your memory? You're a frickin' natural," Dean would always tell you. Fighting did seem so natural to you, like it was second nature. You had no idea who you were before you lost your memory, but you did know that you definitely knew how to fight and so far no one had looked for you. Sam had checked missing person reports all over the country and there was no sign anyone missed that you were gone. It all seemed to point towards a hunters life style.

"-one home?" You were shocked out of your thoughts when Dean's hand waved in front of your face. You were currently in the bunker's library, sitting at the main table with a book about various monsters in front of you.

"Huh?" You asked closing the book you weren't reading and looking at the hunk standing before you.

"I was asking if anyone was home. You alright, kiddo? You were pretty out of it."

"Ya, I'm fine. Just thinking about the last six months. Not that I can think back any farther than that anyway," you scoffed.

"Well I have something that'll perk you up. Sammy and I caught wind of a simple salt and burn case a couple hours out, we figured we'd let you do the honors. I mean if you're up to it," Dean taunted.

You almost jumped out of your chair in excitement, but controlled yourself not wanting Dean to see. It had been weeks since you were last invited out on a case. You felt like you could handle going on way more cases, but the boys were a little over protective when it came to their new female companion. "How soon can we leave?" You said with a smirk.

"I knew that would cheer you up. Now go ahead, run to your room and get your crap and we can head out," Dean said waving you off.

You rolled your eyes as you sauntered your way to your room. That is until you rounded the corner, effectively out of Dean's line of site; then you ran like a giddy little school girl the rest of the way. You'd never let the boys know exactly how excited you got when you were told you got to go beat up a monster. You quickly grabbed your duffel bag, throwing some clothes and other various girl necessities. Then you made your way to the garage.

-Cutest little time skip you ever did done see-

The hunt went as expected, and was not the exciting trip you had been hoping for. You didn't even get to beat anything up! At least it got you out of the bunker for a little while, even if you had to stay at a shitty motel for the night. Now the three of you were sitting in said dingy, poorly lit motel room sipping on beers and watching some movie called "Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators" on the small TV.

"Who the hell even thinks up these movies? They're so ridiculous," you huffed from your spot between Sam and Dean on the couch.

"I don't know but at least the main chick is hot," replied Dean as he sipped his beer.

Sam chuckled at his brothers comment, but you knew he sided with you. Over the course of the six months that you had spent with the Winchesters you had grown to know them pretty well. You were like the little sister they never wanted. The life you had with them was the best life you could imagine having; you'd never admit to thinking of such sappy things to them though. It was like having a little family. A family of hunters and who could forget the endearing and awkward angel that liked to pop up. Thinking of Cas, you hadn't seen him in awhile.

"Hey, when was the last time you saw Cas?" You asked coming back to reality.

"A couple weeks. wh-," Sam started but didn't finish.

As if on cue, "Are you in need of my assistance?"

"Dammit Cas! How many times do we have to say not to do that!?" Dean blurted out trying to hide his shock.

You turned to look at the man standing behind the couch. Castiel, where do you even start with Castiel. Well, he's an angel of the lord, that's for damn sure, it was something he'd never let you forget. He definitely needed some training in human interactions, but there was something refreshing about someone so quirky. He saved the boys' asses too many times to count and even helped you with research back at the bunker every so often. You could call him the go to guy, when something was wrong he'd come to your aid. He didn't always do the right thing, but you knew that he always had good intentions. You couldn't help but feel safe and protected with him around. You had grown to know him fairly well, just like the Winchesters. There were never any long winded conversations between the two of you, but you still felt like there was an unspoken friendship that the two of you shared.

"(y/n), is it not considered rude by humans to stare at someone for copious amounts of time?"

"Oh, sorry Cas, I was spacing out. Just getting lost in thought like usual," you replied with a little smile.

"Well I'm glad you found your way back. Now why was I called?" Cas asked as he looked between the three of you.

"No reason we just wanted to know what you had been up to lately," you felt a little guilty accidentally summoning him down here for no reason.

"Why don't you sit your feathery ass down and join our night off," Dean said more than asked.

"I uh... Don't think-," Cas was interrupted by a beer being thrown at him, which he still caught even though he was surprised.

"Come on Cas enjoy yourself a little while the world isn't completely falling apart," Dean smirked at him.

"Alright I guess I will join your 'night off'."

A disgruntled Cas sat down in the chair next to the couch and began watching the horrible SyFy movie we had on.

Not even five minutes later Cas looked totally lost in the movie, it was pretty cute.

'Wait did I just call Cas cute?!'

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying so far! Sorry this one took a little longer to post haha I was procrastinating and it turned out to be longer than I thought! I swear once I get into the juicy stuff I'll stop starting all of them with time skips! This one contains lots more Castiel for your viewing pleasure(: Please review and follow! I love hearing feedback and ideas! Anyway without further ado chapter 3!

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 **Chapter 3**

 _It was a cloudy and chilly night, fairly quiet, with only the distant noise of cars passing by and a few stray cats trying to find a meal. You made your way down a deserted alleyway; you had no idea where you where or what you were doing there but it didn't matter because your body seemed to know. As you neared the end of the pathway, you heard a door in the conjoining alley open and close. You rounded the corner and there was a drunken man stumbling out of the back door of a bar. When he saw you standing there he drunkenly staggered in your direction._

" _Hey there perdy lady, whas a nice girl like you doin' back here?" He was a little hard to understand with how much he slurred his words. You didn't respond to him, just stared at him as he tried to come closer._

" _Oh, the silent type huh? Well baby, how 'bout we head to my place an have a little fuuun." You smirked at his drunken speech._

" _How about we have some fun right here," you said as you took out the silver dagger that was in your jacket pocket._

" _What the hell is that?!" He seemed to sober up a bit at the sight of the blade. You took a step closer to him._

" _G-get the hell away from me!" Trying to back away from you he had cornered himself against a wall and dumpster. Bad mistake._

" _But baby I thought you wanted to have some fun," you whispered seductively into his ear. You pulled the knife up and before he even had the chance to scream you slit his throat. Blood splattered all over you, but you didn't seem to notice as you cleaned your dagger off and smiled at your handy work._

You shot up in your bed, covered in sweat and breathing like you just ran a marathon. Putting your head in your hands you focused on controlling your breathing.

"Another fucking dream," you muttered to yourself as you laid back down. You closed your eyes, tried to forget the dream, and go back to sleep, but you knew that it was in vain.

These dreams had been happening for about a month now. At first they were just flashes of random things that you didn't really understand. However, as time went on they became clearer, more detailed, and longer. None of them were identical but they all had one thing in common; you killing something or someone. They always ended in blood. It was like having an outer body experience, you couldn't control what you were doing. When you first started having the dreams you thought that maybe it was just your new life of hunting taking its emotional toll. Though, as of lately, it felt more like they were old memories resurfacing. You calmed yourself by thinking of rational explanations for you murdering these people. Both you and the Winchesters believed that you might have been a hunter before they found you. So maybe they were just monsters that needed to die. That's what you'd always tell yourself, they were monsters and that's why you killed them. It made you feel better about your actions. Then you'd think about the end of the dreams and how you felt joy, hell even pleasure, when you looked at the bodies covered in their own blood. It gave you a bad feeling in your gut, just thinking about that smile, your smile, it made you shiver.

'They're just dreams (y/n), they don't mean anything,' you thought to yourself as you made an audible huff and sat back up in bed.

You never could get back to sleep after the dreams. Originally, it was very taxing on you but by now you were used to sleeping only a couple hours a night. Looking at your clock and seeing it was 5:00am you decided that you might as well get up. You made your way to the bunker's kitchen to make yourself a morning cup of tea like you always did. The boys would make fun of you for not drinking coffee but tea just tasted so much better to you, plus with the amount of sugar you added, it gave you the energy boost you needed.

After brewing yourself tea, you went to the library and pulled out your laptop. You pulled up newspaper articles from all over the country to try to find a case for you and the boys. Luckily, you weren't limited to just the easy cases anymore. Sam and Dean felt you had proved yourself and now they took you on basically every hunt they went on.

"You're up early," you jumped a little shocked by Sam's sudden presence. He walked into the library with a cup of coffee in hand and sat next to you.

"I woke up and had to pee, couldn't get back to sleep after that. So I decided I'd make being up at this ungodly hour worth something, and find us our next case," you gestured to your laptop. Yes, you just lied to Sam. You knew that you should tell the brothers about the dreams of your past but until you had it all figured out you didn't want to stress them out over something that could be nothing. You'd eventually tell them just not yet. So whenever they asked you why you were up early or looked tired you'd just make up a lame excuse.

"Oh, well I actually just got a call from an old hunting buddy of ours. He wants us to come help him on taking down a group of demons."

"When are we leaving?"

"As soon as Dean is finished packing the car," Sam looked a little uncomfortable.

"Well then I guess I'll go get ready. Way to give a girl time," you playfully smack his shoulder.

"Actually, we were hoping you'd be okay staying behind. Watch the bunker, you know? It's not that we don't want to take you, it's just that this guy is a little paranoid and isn't fond of new people," Sam looked a little guilty and troubled. Not that it was a new look for him.

"That's totally cool. I love you boys but really a girl could use some time to herself every once in awhile. Plus I'm pretty sure burritos are the only thing left in the fridge and I'll pass being stuck in a car with Dean after one of those," you smile and laugh at the thought, waving your hand in front of your nose.

"Sammy, you ready? Let's head out," Dean said as he peered into the room with a burrito in hand, "You'll be fine by yourself right?"

"Peachy! Now leave so I can invite a bunch of hot girls over and have a naked pillow fight."

"Well if that's your pl-"

"Alright Dean, we're leaving," Sam interrupted his brothers perverted thoughts as he stood and started to pull him towards the garage. "Bye (y/n), we'll call to check up later!"

As you went back to staring at your laptop you heard Dean yell good bye to you as well, muffled by food in his mouth. A minute later you heard the roar of the Impala as it left. You closed your laptop, bored by the articles that didn't seem to hold any promise of a case.

You gazed down at the pajamas you were still wearing and concluded that it was time to officially get ready for the day. With that you were off- you showered, got dressed, went to the store to fill the empty kitchen, made yourself breakfast, finished the book you had been meaning too, cleaned your room, did laundry for all three of you, dusted the whole bunker, and put back all the books on their rightful shelves.

It was now 6:00pm and you had nothing to do. You weren't lying when you said that a day to yourself sounded great, especially when you were running on such little sleep; but you didn't know it was going to be so boring! That naked pillow fight was sounding better by the second. Really you just wanted someone to hang out with so your mind didn't keep drifting to those horrible nightmares. As if answering your prayer you heard a flap of wings from behind you.

"Cas! Thank god! I was so bored by myself," you said jumping off the spot on the couch you had been occupying to stand in front of the angel.

"God had nothing to do with this, (y/n). Sam and Dean sent me to check in on you and tell you they're fine as well. It seemed that they didn't want my help."

"Don't take it personally," you patted his shoulder, "I was ditched too. Some old hunter buddy needed help on taking out some demons."

"Ah, have you found anything more? About your past I mean." You shook your head.

"Every once in awhile I'll feel a sense of deja vu, but that's about it. Sam and Dean are still asking around to see if any hunters had heard of me. Seems that I was not a missed person, whoever I was," with that said you looked at your feet, talking about the past was always a sore subject for you.

"I am sure that's not true, (y/n). You're a very wonderful person," Cas said. You could have sworn you saw a slight tint of pink on his cheeks, but you told yourself it was probably just your imagination.

"Thanks, Cas," you smiled as you lifted your eyes to meet his, "Well now that your feathery butt is here why don't we have some fun!" You took his hand and lead him to the media room's closet door.

The closet was full of boardgames; just about every boardgame you could imagine. You were a very competitive person and loved to play them. You had forced the Winchester brothers to play them with you on multiple occasions. Nothing said family bonding like a good game of relationship shattering Monopoly. Though, you had never actually completed a whole game. It usually ended with one of you flipping the board over and not coming out of your room for the rest of the night. With that thought you figured that Monopoly shouldn't be Castiel's first experience with boardgames. You pulled out a couple of your favorites and had Cas pick some of the ones he thought looked intriguing.

You and Cas sat on the floor around the coffee table playing one of the many games you picked out. Cas wasn't doing as terrible as you thought he would, he picked up on the rules very quickly. As the night went on you spent hours playing different games, talking, and getting to know each other. Cas would tell you stories of Heaven and how things were in the beginning of the universe. You loved to see his eyes light up when he would talk about everything he got to see in his long life time. There wasn't much for you to talk about considering you had the memory of about 8 months, and there was no way you were going to bring up your dreams.

"How do you like living with the Winchesters?" Cas asked breaking the silence that had just befallen.

"I don't have much to compare it to but I couldn't wish for anything better. I don't know where I'd be if they weren't there to pick me up that day," you gave a little smile.

"I'm also glad they were there to pick you up that day. You help them more than any of you know. It's nice to know they have someone looking out for them when I'm not around." It was so sweet how much Cas cared for those two. You doubt he even noticed how he had developed feelings for them.

"Thanks Cas. Apparently, the supernatural life follows me wherever I go, memory or no memory. Don't get me wrong though, I love it. I couldn't imagine living a normal life." Not liking where this sappy conversation was heading you decided to change it. "How about we put this game up and I show you one of the best shows I've watched?"

"We haven't finished this game, though I appear to be losing, so yes this show sounds enjoyable." You got up and cleaned up the game quickly, putting everything away.

You went to one of the bags that you brought home from the store earlier that day and pulled out the box for season 1 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When you first got to the bunker and the boys wouldn't let you go on any hunts you had to find a lot of things to keep you busy and that's when you stumbled on this show. It was like it called out to you. You watched all 7 season in a couple weeks. You figured with the Winchesters gone a couple days you'd go back and rewatch some. Taking out the first disc you put it in the dvd player and started it all up. You sat on the couch next to Cas.

"Let the marathon begin," you said with a giggle. Cas looked a little confused but let it slide and after a slight lingering gaze turned back to the tv.

A couple episodes in you could feel your eyes drooping. It wouldn't be long before sleep took you. You hated sleeping, knowing that the nightmares were going to come. It wasn't long after that thought that you fell sleep.

It was the next morning when the two brothers got home. They looked around the bunker for you until they found you fast asleep on the couch. Then they noticed you weren't alone.

"Aww, don't they look so cute," Dean mocked.

"Dean, Sam, please be quiet (y/n) is sleeping," Cas said trying his best to whisper.

"How long have you been like that?" asked Sam.

"Since last night. She fell asleep and I didn't want to wake her, she seemed so peaceful."

"Good boy, Cas. But now we do need to wake her up, we brought her home a little present," Dean said as he made his way to the couch to wake you up. "Hey (y/n), we're home wake up."

You groaned a little and slowly opened your eyes. You were a little confused as to where you were and why everyone was looking at you. Then you remembered that you fell asleep on the couch with Cas. At first you thought maybe you screamed in your sleep because of your nightmares. Then as you thought back you realized that you didn't have a nightmare. How was this possible? You had a nightmare every night since they started. What was different from last night? The only thing you could think of was that Castiel was there.

'Is he the reason I didn't have a nightmare? Is he the reason I actually slept through a whole night?' you were so confused yet relieved. Then you looked up remembering Sam and Dean were there.

"Hey, you guys are home early. Everything alright?" You voice was a little husky from sleep.

Sam stepped closer to the couch, "(y/n), we found a demon we think can tell us more about you, before you lost your memory."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Update

A/N! And a little rant!

Alright guys! I've been caught! Apparently my writing is fine and dandy but I used second person so I broke the 'guidelines'. I know I am such horrible person of sin! I just bathe in the sin. I personally think that it's the shittiest rule I've ever heard of but if I want to keep my story on here I have to 'follow the rules'. When I got another review on the story I was overjoyed but then I saw what it was and let's just say I was a little peeved! I had no idea that writing in second person was against the 'guidelines' because well if we're all honest with ourselves it doesn't make any goddamn sense! Plus who the hell actually reads the terms and conditions! So my days of rule breaking are over! Foiled by the hands of an Eliminator! Darn you! Anyway, if I can't break the rules why not bend them! I am going to be reformatting my stories so they are not illegal contraband on this site! I will be changing it from second person to first person! Also I heard that this person can not be the reader and must be an OC with a name, so any guesses to the name of my character?! Damn straight, it's Your Name! So please stay tuned for the adventures of my new OC Your Name! Who is not 'you' but is now 'Your Name'! I will do my best to not give any descriptions of the character!

On a serious note, I almost just let the story get taken down but I don't want that. I hate writing in first person when the story isn't suppose to be, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I will be continuing the story normally on Deviantart and Tumblr (my user name is the same), if you guys aren't the kind that like to read these kinds of first persons and want it to feel more personal. It will take a little longer to get my updates out on FF now because I will first write them in second and then convert them! Sorry for the inconveniences!

Anyway! I will be converting all these chapters and then starting on my fourth chapter. I hope it won't be too long before it's out! Sorry for the set backs!

-DR


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